


Oneiric

by softsocks (orphan_account)



Series: Words Rule Our Hearts [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, But Not To Dan Or Phil, Dreams, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Abuse/References To Past Abuse, Phil's Technically An Adult But Whatever, Promise, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Triggers, possible triggers, sensitive content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5280695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/softsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'of or relating to dreams'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oneiric

**Author's Note:**

> SENSITIVE CONTENT ARE DISCUSSED AND FEATURED. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION: POSSIBLE TRIGGERS.
> 
> If you can't tell, I'm really into platonic girl-boy relationships. (Also writing girls is fun ;D )

Eyes the brown of hot chocolates in winter by the fireplace, hair as soft as felt, the colour of coffee with only a dash of milk mixed in. Skin that's warm to the touch and the colour of burning whiskey. A smile that's nervous but sweet and nothing but honest. A heart big enough to swallow the entire earth whole.

That's what Phil sees, what he feels, the night of his eighteenth birthday, and most nights from then onwards. Of course he has no idea who he's dreaming about, where they live or by what gender they associate. Not to mention, how old they are or what kind of relationship they'll have if they ever meet. He catches little things in snatches, the sparkle of eyes, or the quirk of upturned lips, what it would feel like to trace his fingers over delicate skin.

He'd heard about soulmates all his life. Some people, like his aunt and uncle, found each other when they were children and had developed a romantic relationship that stemmed from their platonic one. Other people, like his parents, spent years looking for their soulmate, dreaming about them but never knowing them.

Phil didn't tell his parents when he first started dreaming of the person he was supposedly connected to. He didn't want to, it felt like betraying a friend, spilling a secret - one he wanted to keep as close to his chest as he possibly could. It was important to him, special,  _too_ special for him to just let slip out.

He'd tell someone, one day, of that he was almost certain.

But for the time being, he cradles the glimpes he gets like a well cherished toy, tightly to his chest where no one else can see.

* * *

Dan was fourteen - almost fifteen if you asked him - when he first dreamed of his soulmate.

When he first woke up, with the images of sapphire blue eyes and a smile that reminded him of a sunny day, he was unbelivably delighted. He knew what it meant, he had learnt about soulmates in high school, and the prospect that he had one was very exciting.

And then he came to his senses, and he realised that things weren't as great as they seemed.

Because he knew his mother wouldn't be happy about it. She would be jealous, because she'd never found her soulmate, and Dan wasn't even sure if she'd ever had one. And in her fragile state, rattling like her pill bottles and drowning herself in her own sorrows, telling her that he had found his own soulmate, that he even had one ... they were a lot of things he'd much rather do.

Like stub his big toe a bajillion times.

So Dan learnt to come up with different dream scenarios, occasionally nightmares just to shake things up a little bit, to tell her when she asked how his sleep had been. On her bad days, which happened more than he would like, she cared a lot more about whether he was her son or her abusive ex-boyfriend. Which was good for Dan, because that meant he could focus on ensuring she didn't hurt him whilst attempting to get her out of bed.

And, strangely, it was on those bad days, that Dan had the best images of his soulmate.

Smiles that were brighter, a warm, comforting heat that engulfed him, almost like he was being hugged. A laugh that was loud and happy and infectious.

Like his soulmate, whoever they were, was trying to console him in some way. It felt nice, like he was wanted, loved - undoubtedly.

And, sure, it was probably false hope within him ... but it was also a light in the darkness, and that was something he almost desperately needed.

* * *

"Something's different about you..."

Phil averts his gaze to the ground, trying to ignore his best friend Anna's scrutinising gaze. He knows without looking, that her blue-green ocean eyes are searching him for any sign of weakness.

"Phil..." She warns, and he'd think she was bluffing if he didn't know her so well.

"Okay, so I might have possibly dreamed about my soulmate the other night." Phil says, suddenly finding the grains of the wooden table of the university library very interesting.

"When was this 'other night'?" Anna inquires, and Phil can hear the hidden strains of a squeal lying beneath the surface of her voice.

"You know how my birthday was like a month ago, right?"

"You know that Muse concert I took you to? Yes, I know when your birthday was." Anna replies sarcastically, but now she seems even more interested than before.

"Well, the night of my birthday ... that's when the dreams first started." Phil says, awaiting the brunt of her fury.

Which came surprisingly quickly.

"You've been dreaming about your soulmate for a month and you  _didn't tell me_?"

Phil looks up at her sheepishly, hoping that she'll either understand or give him the chance to explain himself before she goes full-banshee on him.

"It felt like a secret that I'd be betraying." Phil tells her quickly, and it sounds like an excuse but it's not.

Anna stares at him, and he can tell that she gets it. After a second she huffs out a sigh, and smiles at him.

"Well, I guess I can understand that, I suppose." She says, and Phil knows that if they weren't in public he'd definitely be hugging her by now.

"I'm happy for you, you know." Anna adds, and Phil smiles at her.

"Yeah I know."

"And I'm not actually upset, I still love you and everything."

Phil raises his eyebrows, and nods. "Yeah, and I love you. Dork."

"Nerd." Anna retorts, and then they're laughing and Phil sticks his tongue out at her and Anna gets back at him by nudging his shin under the table with the point of her boot.

Phil is happy that he's got a soulmate, but he's even happier that he has a friend like Anna in his life. He wonders if his soulmate, whoever they are, has a friend as awesome as her, and if - providing he was lucky enough to meet this mysterious stranger - they'd get along with Anna as well as he does.

* * *

Dan lies in bed for a few minutes after a particuarly blissful night where flashes of strong, warm arms and soft kisses with hushed, kind words carried him in his sleep. The covers he's tangled in feel softer,comfier, and he has the strongest desire to slip back into slumber, to escape from the realities of his life and to delve back into the shots of his soulmate.

He thinks they might be a guy, although he isn't certain, and even if they are he knows no other details. All he knows, is that he's never felt safer than when he is dreaming, and it feels him with the greatest feeling imaginable.

And then he hears the scraping of hands against dry-wall and he groans, because the noise means his mother is awake, and he has only a few seconds to figure out whether she's in a good state or not.

He throws the covers on his bed back, and slips out of bed, chucking a clean hoodie on as he peeks his head around the frame of his door. His mother is shuffling about the kitchen, her old, familiar and impossibly warn out powder blue dressing gown pulled around her, tied up with a knot on her side. As he gets closer he can hear the soft strains of her voice, as she sings one of her favourite songs - something Dan hadn't heard her do in far too long.

_"For what it's worth, it was worth all the while."_

He hopes that it means she's doing okay today. She always used to sing, back when everything was okay, back when his Dad was still around and Dan didn't have to be the adult of the household. She'd sing when she was cooking, in the shower, and every night as she tucked him into bed she'd whisper soft lyrics into the otherwise quiet stillness of the air.

He missed it, some days. Most of the time, he really just missed her.

"Hey, Mum." He said, entering the kitchen with caution.

"Hello, dear. How was your sleep?"

 _Wonderful._ He thinks. Out loud, he says. "It was okay. How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm feeling a little fatigued, I suppose, but other than that I'm just peachy."

She smiles at him, and she looks so much like the old her - eyes bright and smile kind, her cheeks tinted with a healthy glow - that Dan wants to cry. There's no manic look in her eyes, she looks stable and back to who she used to be before everything went wrong.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asks, stepping forward to cup his cheek gently. He wonders if she can tell that he's on the verge of tears. She brushes his hair back off his forehead, and he has to swallow, hard, to keep from choking out a sob.

"I don't know." He says, his voice cracking on the last word.

"Hm, well I was thinking I whip up some pancakes? What do you say?"

Dan nods slowly, not trusting himself to speak.

His mum smiles at him, then directs him to seat at the table. He watches in awed silence as she flits around the kitchen, whipping together buttermilk pancakes just like she used to. He can hear her singing again, a different song, and this time he hums along, still in disbelief.

_"Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes some things are meant to be."_

He remembers her singing this song to him as they danced around the living room in their socks and pajamas on a Sunday morning. It's her favourite song of all time, one of his favourites too, and he hadn't heard it since she'd last sung it to him a few years ago.

Burning tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and he blinks them back.

"We should do something today, just you and me." His mum says, her back to him, and Dan's glad she can't see how much of a mess he currently is.

"Like what?"

"Well, we could watch a movie or something. Snuggle up on the couch like when you were a little baby - they were good times." His mum suggests, sounding a little wistful and distant.

"They were."

"Well it's settled then." His mum exclaims, whirling around to flash Dan a brilliant, warm smile.

Dan nods.

He doesn't mention to her, that he has school on, which he really should be getting ready to leave for. She's somewhat normal, and coherent, and he wants to make the most of it while he has the chance. He has no idea when it's going to happen again, and there's a part of him that's worried if he leaves now she'll break beyond repair.

Besides, it's not like he's really noticed at school anyway. He can just go to the library across town sometime during the week if he needs to.

* * *

"So, this soulmate person of yours?"

Phil looks over at Anna, who's lying upside down on his bed, her dark auburn hair nearly reaching the carpet.

"Yes?" He asks, before adding quickly. "Is that even comfortable?"

"It's more comfortable than you'd think." Anna replies. "Anyway, back to the soulmate. What's in these dreams of yours?"

Phil's reminded, in that moment, that Anna hasn't dreamt of her soulmate yet, and there's a possibility she might never. He wants to apologise immediately for even telling her about it, but he keeps it back, knowing she'd only dismiss his concern as pointless and ask him again.

"Flashes, almost like distant memories. Hair and eyes, sometimes a smile. I can sort of, feel their heart - that sounds weird. Like I sense it. I also get the, feeling, that they're a really nice and caring person, if that makes any sense at all."

"Do you know if they're a boy or a girl?" Anna asks, her eyes closed - he can see where her eyeshadow has started to rub off.

"I mean, it wouldn't really matter to me anyway." Phil says, and he doesn't mention that he feels like he might be slowly falling in love with the person who continuously runs his dreams.

"Well, I know  _that._ " Anna says, opening her eyes just to roll them at Phil.

He leans back in his desk chair, arms crossed.

"I think they might be a boy," Phil says, because that's the feeling he got. "But I'm not certain."

"It would be a shame, if they lived quite far away," Anna thinks aloud, and Phil freezes, because he'd never thought past who his soulmate might be, generally speaking.

"What if they're already in a relationship?" He mutters. "Or, what if they're too young or too old for me?"

Anna rolls over, so she's lying on her stomach, her hair falling around her, framing her face.

"Phil, you shouldn't worry yourself with things like that - you have no idea, and you can't be expected to until you meet them."

"I know," Phil says, resting his head on the back of his chair.

"Maybe you'll be lucky." Anna says, and Phil raises his eyebrows.

"Maybe you'll meet them sooner than you think."

* * *

A few days pass before Dan has the chance to slip away to the library. He tells his mum that he's got a meeting for some big project after school, but he'd be home by 6:30 at the latest.

He runs to the bus once the bell has gone, his small bag with the few things he needs on his back, grateful that he makes in time. He sits on the left, at the middle - close to the front but not right behind the driver. The perfect place for him to sit without being properly noticed.

Dan gets off at the library across town, re-adjusting his bag over his shoulder. He greets the librarians inside with a small, pleasant smile and a tiny wave. None of them say anything as he makes his way to the group of tables in the back, knowing that's where he'd go because it's where he always studies.

He sits at the table, textbook and notebook sprawled on the table in front of him, and gets to work.

Roughly half an hour or so later, Dan's written two pages of notes and highlighted three sections of his textbook. He's far too distracted by his work to notice as someone takes the seat across from him, but he does hear the sharp intake of breath.

He looks up, not sure what to expect but most certainly not anticipating what he does find.

Crystal glass eyes reflecting an ocean, wide and shocked. Stark black hair, dark as a raven's. His heart slows to a steady beat, and he swears he can feel the other guy's heartbeat too, he can almost sense it.

"You," He breaths out, whisper-quiet and disbelieving.

 _"You,"_ The other guy -  _my soulmate_  Dan thinks - says, just as quietly.

He laughs, and it's delightful, the best sound Dan's ever heard. Dan simply sits there with a slack jaw, ignoring the urge to pinch himself, to make sure this isn't all a dream.

"I'm sorry, uh ... I'm Phil."

Dan accepts the hand that is extended towards him, his own hand trembling slightly. Phil smiles gently, and Dan thinks it's better in real life. Phil's older than him, Dan guesses, possibly an adult, and he wonders if that's going to ruin the slim chance Dan had thought he might have had.

"Dan." He says, taking his hand back and wiping it on the fabric of his jeans, hoping the handshake wasn't as sweaty as it had felt for him.

"It's really good to meet you - this sounds so creepy but I've been looking forward to this moment for ages." Phil says, laughing softly.

Dan surprises himself by laughing too, but the delighted reaction from Phil is enough for him to keep going.

"It's good to meet you too." Dan says. "I'm really glad you're, you know, real and not just a figment of my imagination. Or, even worse, on the other side of the world."

Phil reaches out, and cautiously takes Dan's hand in his own. Dan lets him, and the warmth and softness of Phil's hand sends shivers through his arm.

"I'm pretty real." Phil says, softly. "Unless we're both insane, and I've imagined myself up."

"I doubt it." Dan whispers, feeling as if speaking any louder would ruin the peace that had settled over them, drawing them closer.

"That's good news." Phil says.

There's so much they don't know about each other, and Dan knows that - he assumes Phil does too. But there's a nice, peaceful feeling settling over him, like a piece of him has finally been filled, and he doesn't remember ever feeling so overwhelmingly  _good_.

He's found his soulmate, and no matter what else happens, he has a feeling that he'll always have Phil there for him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my kind-of-fix-it for the latest 'heart-breaking' fic I posted. I'm sorry for anyone who was affected emotionally by that. 
> 
> Song lyrics featured in this from 'Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)' by Green Day and 'Can't Help Falling In Love' by Elvis Presley. (I reccomend the 'twenty one pilots' version for the latter one.


End file.
